Is Community The Way To Overcome Social Anxiety?

This post is about how God told me I needed community to help me overcome social anxiety and how he led me to it. Skip to the end for 4 Ways Community Can Help Your Social Anxiety.

I Thought Social Anxiety Would Leave On Its Own

Most of my years were spent believing God would just magically take my social anxiety away. I didn’t think I’d ever have to force myself to smile and speak people. Or force myself to dance at a family event. None of that exposure therapy crap. I was fully expecting to wake up one day totally free from fear and the opinions of others. No work involved on my end. Just the benefits of no longer being bound by my own mind.

Needing Community Started With A Feeling

It wasn’t until 2022, the year God put me on the path to overcoming social anxiety, that he put a cap on my way of thinking. Being alone all the time was becoming increasingly uncomfortable and exhausting. I use to find enjoyment sitting in my room watching movies and YouTube all day. While I desired friendship, I was totally fine with not having to be bothered with getting out of bed and “entertaining” people.

You could say I was just becoming depressed because I had no human interaction outside of my parents. What 20 something year old wouldn’t get depressed if they didn’t have friends or a normal young adult life filled with sex, partying, and bad decisions?

So you wouldn’t be wrong in that sense. But I say it was God calling me out of my old self-isolating existence. Believe me. I have been depressed before and what I had started feeling wasn’t that. There was no sadness or hopelessness in it… The best way I can explain it, is that living an extremely introverted life no longer felt like who I was.

Needing Community Was Confirmed In Sermons

I spent a lot of time watching sermons online. I didn’t have a church home (that I enjoyed attending) and it was convenient to watch a sermon whenever I felt like it. But the uncomfortable feeling I had, had crept into that too. I couldn’t fully enjoy watching church online, because I desired to be there amongst other worshippers.

My spirit was telling me I needed to start going in person. I ignored it for as long as I could. But in almost every sermon I watched, no matter what the topic was about, the pastor would always end up saying something about us needing community.

That word kept popping up and kept popping up. Not only that. But what they said would usually have something to do with us needing community because we can’t overcome strongholds in the dark (in other words by ourselves). We need to confess our struggles to others for help to overcome it.

One of the many sermons I watched was Free Indeed – Breaking The Snare Of Fear by Pastor Steven LeBlanc from Gateway Church. In it, Pastor LeBlanc talks about how he had a fear of people and that what started the process to his freedom was confessing his fear to 30 elders.

After watching it, I immediately started thinking I was going to have to enlist some people, confess my social anxiety/spirit of fear, and have them pray for me. I HATED the idea and it made me sick to my stomach (funnily enough, I DID end up confessing my social anxiety to a group of people. Read about it in my post, Confessing My Social Anxiety To Small Group).

But nevertheless, God wasn’t letting up with what he was saying to me, so I knew I would have to find a church to start attending.

Finally, God Led Me To Community

It took me multiple Sundays before I built up enough courage to finally visit my first church. I was terrified of the idea of having to stand up and introduce myself and my church affiliation (my old church had visitors doing that 🙄). Also, the thought of driving there (I had drivers anxiety at the time), finding a place to sit, and having to make small talk with strangers made me want to throw up. The first two churches I visited were not a good fit for me. While I didn’t have to introduce myself, the vibes just were not there and so my search continued.

He reminded me of small groups

At some point, I looked up a sermon about community and clicked on the first one that popped up. Of course it talked about the importance of community, but it also mentioned something that I hadn’t considered – small groups. Why hadn’t I thought of that?! I had been to a few small group meetings in college with my roommate and her friend. But I had totally forgot that was something that was available to me outside of college.

He told me exactly which church to go to

Immediately, I looked up small groups near me and the first result that popped up was the same church whose video I had just watched. I rolled my eyes thinking google only brought me there because I had just watched their video. There was no way a big church like the one I just saw was anywhere near the little rural town where I lived….My mouth dropped open when I saw that the location of the church was not only in the same city I lived. But it was also less than 5 minutes away!

After further digging, I realized that they were two different churches, but that had the same name. Not only that, but the one near me had the word “Community” in it’s name (this is just freaking registering to me!). Believe what you want, but that IS NOT a coincidence. God works in the details. Everything falls according to his plan and I know his plan was for me to go to that church!

I’ve been attending this church ever since! I feel so welcomed there, the music is great, they are organized, and do a lot for the community (🤭).

4 Ways Community Can Help Your Social Anxiety

1. You wont have to deal with it alone anymore
2. They can pray for/with you
3. It’s exposure therapy
4. It will get you out of the house! Read my post “How I Started Forcing Myself Out Of The House” for tips on how to leave the house even when you’re afraid.